Kim Possible meets the Albino Drift
by h12hardcore
Summary: The beginning of the Kim-a-drift arc, where Kim Possible teams up with the strange and enigmatic Albino Drift, in this edition to take on the dread space Pirate Captain Decorsi.


A daze, she awoke in a daze her head aching, cold and all alone. The only sounds she could hear were waves gently crashing in the distance and the strange strumming of guitar strings. 'Ok Kim, you've really gotten yourself into it this time,' She thought slowly sitting up, head aching furiously. She looked around to see herself what appeared to be a small jail cell on the lower deck of ship. As she search for some sign of familiar life she saw perhaps the strangest sight yet an Albino man in a white suit and hat playing an old acoustic guitar.

"So your alive," he said not looking up from his instrument. "Captain Decorsi's usually pretty rough on girls, Specially pretty ones." He continued.

"I'm tougher than I look," She said confused and still hurt. "You wouldn't happen to know where we are would you?" She asked hoping for something she could latch on to.

The albino man removed the cigarette that was hanging precariously on the edge of his lips, and tapped the ash off the end. "Nope" he replied quite matter-of-factly as he placed the cigarette back into his mouth. Kim was at first struck by the strangeness of his appearance, then by how completely calm he seemed about this entire situation.

"Um, you mentioned a Captain Decorsi? Can you at least tell me who he is." Kim asked hoping this strange man could be of some assistance.

The albino man finished playing. He set his guitar down, and put out his cigarette. He leaned in towards Kim and said, "Long story short, He's a space pirate." Kim attempted to process this as the albino man turned around on his bench, and set his legs up on the end. He leaned back resting his shoulders against the bars of the cell, and pulled his head off and set it over his face. Kim watched him for a moment before she could finally take no more and said.

"Okay you are way too calm about all this, what is going?!" She demanded confused and annoyed.

Without moving a muscle he said, "Sorry, this ain't my first rodeo. But I wouldn't be causing to much noise. He still has your friends up on deck." When the strange man said her friends, it suddenly came back to her. Ron and Shego, they had all set out together to figure out what was causing the disappearance of planes. She couldn't believe she hadn't thought of them until now. Though admittedly her head was still throbbing.

"We have to get out of here," She said hastily jumping to her feet and searching back and forth for a means of escape. Then seeing that the Albino man hadn't moved from his spot. "Well, are you gonna help or what?!" She demanded, getting even more annoyed with this strange man's seeming apathy.

"Patience" he said calmly and quietly, barely speaking above a whisper. This only further infuriated Kim, who was imagined her best friend and girlfriend being horribly tortured by some insane Pirate while this man attempted to nap.

Finally her anger boiled over, looking around she spotted a rock on the ground. She grabbed it and threw it at him violently, aiming directly for his head as she shouted, "Will you get up already!" As the rock flew forward it came within inches of striking his face. That is until it was stopped caught between his index and middle finger, a feet that impressed and surprised Kim as she stared at the man who's eyes were covered by his hat and seemingly had no way of knowing she even through anything at him.

As he dropped the rock to the ground, he raised his hat up to show his face. His eyes were half open and tired, but a strange sort of smile came over his face as he mouthed the word once more, Patience.

Kim sat down and the man pulled his hat over his face once more. He settled back in as Kim watched on anxiously. Clearly this guy was more than he was letting on. But if he was then how did he end up in here with her and why didn't he try to escape. And who lets the prisoner have a guitar with him in his cell. Suddenly amidst all these thoughts Kim heard a sound, a strange sort of knocking sound. Like a tap of metal on metal, with a slight bit of leather or dense fabric between them. The sound was rhythmic and slowly gaining speed. It was quiet, almost indistinguishable from the other sounds of the ship. She continued to listen for it, attempting to locate where it was coming from, then suddenly she realized. As she looked over at the strange albino fellow, and notice something she hadn't before. He was not merely resting head against the bars but rather tapping it repeatedly, but that didn't make since, what was he doing? Just as she thought this, the bar his head was tapping against sprang loose fell to the ground.

The man quickly pulled his hat back up onto his and turned around in his seat. He looked at the now vacant space where the bar had been and then back at Kim. She looked on in disbelief and he just smiled that strange half grin again, as he bent down and picked up his guitar. He got up and squeezed between the bars, and Kim quickly followed.

"How'd you do that?" She whispered as they headed towards the stairs.

"Got a metal plate in the back of my head, and every cell has a weak bar, where the weldings meet." He responded as though this was somehow common knowledge.

"How'd you know that was the weak bar?" She asked, still attempting to keep quiet.

"When I was playing my guitar the sound bounces off the bars sounded hollow. Which told me which one was loose." He responded as they headed up the stairs.

"Good ears." She whispered to herslef.

"I'm a musician." He responded, despite her not intending for him to.

As they went up the stairs they entered the cargo hold. There was seemingly no one there though they still were quick to hide, just in case. As they made their way through the various piles of illegally gained swag, Kim asked, "So do you have a name?"

"They call me the Albino Drift." The man said stoicly.

"Really?" Kim said surprised at the strangeness of his moniker. However the Albino drift seemed undaunted. After a few moments Kim continued, "So you don't have like a normal name or anything, like what your parents call you?"

"My name's Irving Tadwaller." He said just as stoicly.

This name somehow struck her even further causing her to retort, "Drift's good."

The two made their way to another set of stairs. But just as they got there the door at the top of the stairs opened. The two jumped behind a box as two crewmembers came shambling down, clearly in a state of advanced drunkenness. Seeing there were only two Kim quickly jumped over the box and down onto one of the crewmen. She managed to knock him out almost instantly but as she turned it looked as though the other had gotten the jump on her. That is until he suddenly fell to the ground snoring. There behind him stood the Albino Drift, lighting another cigarette.

"What'd you do to him" Kim asked concerned and mildly confused.

"Pressure point in the back of the neck causes immediate and sustained REM sleep. Probably get the best nap he's ever had." Drift said calmly as he continued up the stairs.

Kim waited till she was certain he was out of her shot before saying to herself, "A musician and a martial artists. If I didn't already have a girlfriend I might be crushin."

"Thanks but you're a little young for me." Drift called back to the surprise of Kim.

"Ok now it's getting creepy." Kim said as she follows Drift up the stairs. As the door opened to the main deck a ruckus party could be heard. The two sneakily made their way through the procession and behind a table. They watched as the pirate crew danced and drank. Meanwhile one of the pirates sat calmly in the center next him to were two suspended cages, in one Shego's arms and legs were chained and her head hung down, clearly unconscious. In the other Ron stood scared and pantsless. "There's Ron and Shego," Kim whispered to Drift.

"They took his pants?" Drift asked surprised and somewhat disgusted.

"Oh no that just happens to Ron sometimes." Kim said dismissively as the two moved in closer.

The party continued raucously as the two inched closer and closer to the center, making sure to remaining hidden. Till finally the man in the center, who had remained seated watching on as other enjoyed themselves, raised his hand to signal a stop. The music immediately died down and everyone went quiet. Kim and Drift made sure stop and watch to see what was about to happen. The man called out, "My boys your Captain is pleased. We have done well this day, we've captured are targets and won two extras for our troubles." The man begins to walk purposefully from his position. Both Kim and Drift share a glance, fearing they've been found out. The man continues, "It would seem only fitting this accomplishment in true pirate fashion." The man suddenly stops, snaps his fingers and then disappears. Then suddenly Kim and Drift hear footsteps from behind them as he finishes, "In true pirate fashion, we should gull and cully the lot of them!"

Without skipping a beat Drift grabs Kim and Jumps to his feet. He pulls her in front of him then pulls out a silver revolver with a pearl handle and places it to her chin he calls out to them, "Nobody moves or I shoot the girl!"

"Kim!" Ron shouts in terror, seeing Kim for the first time.

All the pirates look at one another confused before Captain Decorsi responds, " Go ahead shoot her we don't care."

"I care" Ron shouts.

"Well you're not relevant," Decorsi responds.

"Well now that's just rude," Ron answers back.

A somewhat dejected Drift looks down at Kim who is less than pleased with him already as he says, "Meh, figured it was worth a shot." Drift then pulls Kim out of his ways as he fires at Captain Decorsi who immediately snaps his fingers again disappearing before the bullets find purchase. As the other pirates pull their weapons Kim kicks over the table and she and Drift duck down behind it.

The Pirates began to fire liberally as Drift pulled another pistol out of his shirt and asked, "You ever handle a 45?"

"No, I'm not really big on guns." Kim responded hesitantly.

:"Well I've never armed teenager so this will be a new experience for both of us." Drift said passing her the pistol. Drift then began firing over the table as Kim eyed the seemingly enormous gun in her hand.

"Um, any tips?" She asked really not feeling comfortable with the whole idea of using a gun.

"Yeah point the end with the hole at the bad guys and it's gonna kick like a mule." He responded in his typical matter-of-fact way.

"Thanks." Kim responded sarcastically as she attempted to maneuver the massive gun in her hands. She positioned herself just above the table before firing the beast of a firearm. True to Drift's word, the kickback knocked Kim down and sent her bullet flying in unforeseen directions, it bounced of the floor, then the ceiling, before finally blowing through the lock on Ron's cage.

As the door flung open Ron stoppable hopped and shouted joyfully, "Yay Kim," Only to immediately by gunfire from the Pirates. Ron screamed in terror as he dove over a table to find safety.

Seeing what Kim had done Drift commented, "It seems you are fortunes fool as well."

Ignoring his bizarre comment Kim saw that Shego was still peril. She handed Drift back his gun and said, "Cover me I'm going for Shego."

Drift grabbed her by the arm and said, "They've got her surrounded it's suicide if you go after her."

"I have too" Kim said looking over at the unconscious Shego. "I love her." She adds turning back to Drift.

Drift looks at Kim then over at Shego. Finally he says, "Beautiful teenage lesbians in love, well I always did say I wanted to die for something I believed in." Drift then stood up and began firing dead center at the pirates, intentionally trying to separate them from the cage. "Now or never Kiddo" Drift called to Kim who was already on her way.

Kim fought her way through the scrambling pirates to finally reach the cell that contained her ladylove. Only then to realize she didn't have any means to break Shego free. Frantic she sees her opportunity when she grabs one of the Pirates Guns from his it's holster. She quickly fires at the lock but to her dismay the bullet simply bounces off. 'Makes sense' She thinks to herself, 'They would need to reinforce Shego's cage. Then suddenly it occurred to her, if she could wake Shego, then Shego could break herself free.

Kim climbed up onto the cage, and pried one of Shego's eyes opened with her finger. Her pupils were dilated she had clearly been drugged. Kim tried shaking her and slapping her face but to no avail finally with no other option at her disposal Kim shouted out at the top of her lungs, "I LOVE YOU RON STOPPABLE!!"

This a dual effectively it immediately caused all the fighting to stop, as well as Shego to spring awake and break free of he shackles within the cage.

Shego shouted, "What?"

Then Ron shouted, "What?"

Drift calmly called to Ron, " She said she loves you."

Ron turns to Kim and asks hopefully, "You love me?"

Shego turns to Kim and asks despondently, "You love him?"

One of the pirates echoes in utter confusion, "You love him?"

Ignoring everyone else Kim says to Shego, "No I love you, I was just saying that to wake you up."

"So you don't love me," Ron calls out heartbroken.

"Sure I do Ron," Kim calls back Ron lifts his head up hopefully, "As a friend." Ron then hangs his head in disappointment.

Finally one of the pirates says, "Hold on now, if you two are together," referring to Kim and Shego, "Then do that mean that you two are together," (referring to Ron and Drift)

"Oh God No" Ron responds adding, "I don't even know who that guy is…. No offense."

"None taken," Drift says.

"I mean you seem like a nice guy and all, you know aside from holding a gun to Kim's head." Ron says.

"Well you do what you gotta do in a pinch" Drift responds.

"Yeah I know what you mean, I've been doing this whole sidekick thing for like 5 years now." Ron says somewhat proud of himself.

"What happened to your pants?" Drift finally asked succumbing to his curiosity.

"Oh that, lets just a cutlass is a lot harder to unsheathe than the movies would have you believe." Ron asks remarking on his own embarrassment.

"Uh guys," Kim says to draw the twos attention to the fact that her and Shego are now surrounded by Pirates all of whom have their guns on them and to make matters worst Captain Decorsi as reappeared holding a knife to Kim's throat.

"I'll have you thrown down those guns now Mr. Tadwaller." Decorsi orders and Drift reluctantly agrees.

Ron then turns to him and says in disbelief, "Your last name is Tadwaller."

"Your last name is stoppable," Drift responds sharply.

"I don't see your point," Ron answers genuinely missing the point

"You two will have plently of time to discuss all of this when you meet up again in the afterlife," Decorsi interupts as he steps towards Drift and drags Kim along with him. He kicks away Drift's guns, which are promptly picked up by his crewmen. He holds the knife tightly to Kim's throat as he whispers quietly in her ear, "Any last words, Miss Possible."

Kim looks up at Drift, and smiles a strange sort of half smile. "Just one," she says as she wraps her hand around his, "Patience." Decorsi ponders this for a moment before the back of Kim's head comes slamming into his chin. As he knocked off guard Kim grabs his arm and throws him over her shoulder and off of her.

Decorsi lands on his feet mere inches in front of Drift. Drift smiles and holds up a single open palm to signal a fighting stance. Decorsi plunges at him with the knife but Drift bats it away with his open palm and answers back with a roundhouse kick.

Shego breaks free of the cage and she and Kim set about taking care of the rest of the pirates as Drift as Decorsi tied up.

As the girls manage to clear out most of the pirates with ease Shego notices Drift's skills and comments, "He's pretty good."

"Yeah," Kim responds but then whispers to her, "But watch what you say, he hears everything."

At first Shego stares at Kim in disbelief until Drift calls out to them from across the room, "She's right I do."

"That's kind of creepy," Shego says.

"Yeah." Kim responds emphatically.

The two continue taking out the rest of the Pirates as Drift just manhandles Decorsi about the room. Finally Drift catches and backs him up against a wall.

"No where left to run," Drift says.

"Clearly you haven't been paying attention," Decorsi responds defiantly. As he snaps his fingers and once more disappears into thin air.

Drift stands stoically for a moment before violently thrusting his fist down and forward. A loud OOMMPPH can be heard, as Decorsi suddenly reappears with the business end of Drift's fist square in his abdomen.

Drift whispers to him, "Clearly you over estimate the value of invisibility."

As the Captain falls to his knees his crew fairs little better. Eventually dwindling down to one last man. The pirate pulls both of his guns on Shego, who responds by igniting her fists in green flames. Seeing this the pirate throws down his guns and says, "You win," Before running off in terror.

With the crew and Captain taken care of Shego, Kim, and Drift reconvene in the middle of the deck. Kim looks around and asks, " Has anyone seen Ron."

"Lost him when the fighting started." Drift said.

"Maybe he got shot," Shego announced, sounding far too excited.

Kim looked at her sternly, "Shego we've discussed this."

"What?! I didn't say I wanted him to get shot, just that it was a definite possibility." Shego responds defiantly.

"I'm over here," Ron calls out as everyone looks over to see him floating just off the side of ship in some sort of hovercraft. "I so call driver," he says as he immediately precedes to ram the craft into the side of the ship. Shego quickly jumps in and shoves him aside, expertly moving the craft away from the ship and then back beside it.

Kim turns to Drift and asks, "What should we do about Captain Decorsi and his men?"

"Ain't much we can down, space alien pirates aren't really either of our jurisdictions. All we know is someone employed them to come after us, which means this isn't likely the last time we'll be seeing each other." Drift says as Kim climbs aboard the hovercraft.

Kim smiles and asks, "So where do we drop you off at?"

Drift bends down and picks up his guitar before hoping the rail and saying, "Here will be fine." He plunges down towards the water and Kim and Company watch on in shock as he lands as if on solid ground. Walking on the water just as if it were dirt or concrete.

"Um, everyone else sees that right?" Shego asks confused and shocked.

"Old trick my buddy Spicy taught me." Drift calls back to them. "Never much cared for Ninja magic myself, but it comes in handy from time to time." Drift says as he tips his hat and pulls his guitar around to the front. He begins to play as he casually strolls across the waves and into the sunset.

"That has got to be the weirdest guy I've ever met," Kim says as she looks at Ron and Shego, then adding, "And that's saying something.


End file.
